You Look Lovely (For Blanche DuBois)

The beautiful dream is dead.  It’s been dead for a while but it’s finally caught up to you.  Your tragic radiance followed in your wake as you left your trail of victims who wanted you no more.  You were run down. Dried up. Time for a better life. You can still be someone.

 

Your perfectly poised delicate beauty was a stark contrast to the New Orleans streets your heels got caught in.  Shaky hands opened the liquor bottle to help your nerves.  One’s the limit, you told yourself on your third pour.  It’s just the nerves, that’s all.

 

Loss follows you around like your shadow- silent and ever present.  The last person you have in the entire world is not even happy to see you.  Her other half sees through your battle armor that you so carefully put on every morning. It’s beginning to crack and you know it’s only a matter of time until it shatters. The bottles begin to go faster and faster.

 

You try to drown out the tick of the clock with the whir of the fan.  It doesn’t work.  Just another constant reminder that you are failing yourself just as you have failed everyone you have ever known.

 

You’re spiraling.  Your tiara weighs heavily on top of your head.  It matches the rhinestones in your dress perfectly.  It matches the glassware too, you laugh to yourself as you fall to the floor.  You decide to forego the glass and just grab the bottle instead.

 

The years have not been kind.  The pressure has been building.  But you are becoming a diamond.  There’s beauty in your breakdown. The magic you so desperately long for resides in you.  It’s hidden in your descent.

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White Woods Dying (For Blanche DuBois)

You are a delicate beauty. But that does not mean you aren’t tough

You’ve seen loss, loss, loss. You’ve been the one who’s had to deal with it

Desperate choices were made. Sacrifices your only company

You’re lost, lost, lost in an atmosphere of decay but your tragic radiance shines through

Softness gets the people to come- but attractiveness gets them to stay

You look lovely, lovely, lovely

The anxiety sets in, its close cousins loneliness, emptiness, and depression are not far behind

Your one choice is desire- brutal desire is the opposite of death. It’s the only thing you can do

Breathing becomes harder and harder. You just want to rest

The dark is comforting. In the dark there is no one you can fail

In the dark there is no one to keep up the appearance for

But you are still someone. You have your tenderness and your love

The searchlight has faded to a kitchen candle but you can still feel its soft glow upon your skin

You know there is still love out there for you. If only you could find it

You want magic because you have seen all human experience

You know who people are and what they want. You let them take it from you

You need kindness but there’s only the man who will destroy you-

Your very own one-man judge, jury, and executioner

Your armor is cracking. The years are slowly making it crumble

The beautiful dream is dead.  It’s been dead for a while but it finally caught up to you

You can’t let them see how much you hurt. You hide it just behind your laugh

It’s everything too much all at once. You had it all under control but suddenly you’re spiraling

You need to make it through because you can still be someone.  You can turn it all around

But every time you look down the glass is always half empty

You don your tiara.  You take a sip, sip, sip

It turns into a drink, drink, drink.  The armor is useless now

You think of the sea and its vast emptiness.  You see it in you

You hear the gentle crash of the waves never relenting against the shore

There is beauty in a breakdown. And yours is the most lovely of all